The Loss of His Strength
by TheWalrusAndThePenguin
Summary: Booth struggles to come to terms with the loss of the person he was born to protect. Warning: character death
1. The Ultimate Loss

**I have to say first that I think Parker is the cutest little boy and hate to do this. It just came to me and I thought it would make a descent story. I do write a fair bit of hurt/comfort, so thinking along those lines came to this. I know everyone loves Parker, but please no flames! If you hate it, look away and don't read! Anyhow, hope you like it. **

Temperance watched in dismay as her partner stood in front of her, his shoulders slumped forward as he held his head in his hands. She thought of the week that had gone. Parker had been kidnapped over one week ago and Tempe had never seen Booth so distraught. Over the course of the week he yelled, screamed and refused to talk about anything other than finding Parker. Rebecca had been killed during the kidnapping and was found in her house, in Parker's bedroom. They had come to the conclusion that she had died trying to save her son. Tempe had tried her absolute best and succeeded in finding out who had taken Parker.

Thomas Close. A middle aged man whose life had turned wrong for him in every way and yet instead of taking his own life he devoted himself in ruining others. He had kidnapped Parker in order to get the FBI to release a family member in prison.

'Booth,' she said quietly. He spun around, his eyes full of anger.

'He's in there!' Booth yelled, throwing his hands up in frustration as he indicated to the building behind him. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. 'My son is being held in that warehouse as a _hostage_! My six year old son…' Booth fell into the seat behind him, ignoring the worried looks he was getting from the policemen and hostage negotiators around him.

'Booth,' she repeated, walking to stand in front of him. She dropped to her knees slowly, taking his face in her hands. 'Booth, you need to calm down.'

'I can't calm down,' he yelled, pulling his head out of her grasp.

Just as Booth was about to stand and get worked up again a gunshot rung through the closed off intersection. The attention of everyone in the barricade was drawn to the man who was laying on the front steps of the building, blood pooling front his chest. Tempe instantly recognised the man as Thomas Close; a sniper must have taken him down. A group of hostages began to run out of the building, including tiny Parker, who was running uncoordinatedly towards them. Tempe watched as Booth ran towards his son, but before they reached each other another gunshot was heard and Close was sitting up in the confusion, holding a gun aimed at Parker. Parker fell forwards, blood rushing from a fresh gunshot wound right through his chest. Booth caught his son as he fell, screaming in dismay.

'NOOOO!' Booth screamed, cradling his son's limp body in his arms.

Close was bombarded by gunshots; snipers on surrounding buildings and policemen on the ground instantly reacting. Though, Tempe was not looking at Close; her focus was on the man in the middle of the intersection, cradling his dead son in his arms. Booth was covered in his son's blood and yet refused to let go of his body.

'Parker, please,' he sobbed loudly. 'Oh, God…Oh, God, please!'

As the rest of the hostages were safe, the attention of the policemen and FBI agents was focussed on Booth. The feeling of anguish was evident in all of the agents.

Tempe felt tears rolling down her cheeks. It was the most upsetting thing she had ever seen. Booth looked so alone in the middle of the intersection, holding desperately onto his son, frantically willing him to wake. He continued mumbling prayers as well as talking to Parker.

'Please, Parker,' Booth continued. 'I can't do this without you. Parker, please, Parker, please.' Booth was hysterical now; his hands gripping at Parker's shirt, but Parker's head hung lose. Booth took his son's head and held it to his chest.

'NOOOOO!' he screamed, his scream echoing throughout the quiet street.

'Should we do something?' Tempe found her voice after what felt like hours, hearing her tears through her broken sentence. The agent standing next to her shook his head in despair.

'I don't…' he closed his eyes. 'I don't know what we _can_ do. That boy was _everything_ to Agent Booth.' Tempe wiped her tears gently away from her eyes before gaining enough courage to begin the long walk to where Booth sat, Parker held tightly in his arms. She stopped behind him, feeling as if time was moving slower than usual as she crouched down next to Booth. She reached out and rested her hand on his shoulder. He flinched at the contact, but didn't allow his attention to be taken from the boy in his arms.

'Booth…' she whispered. 'Booth, they need to…' But she couldn't think of anything to say. _They need to what?_ She knew it wasn't healthy for him to hold his dead son for much longer, but couldn't think of what to say. Booth was mourning the loss of his son and she didn't know how to deal with it.

'Parker wouldn't want you like this…' she attempted, hoping that she had said the right thing.

'I can't…' Booth sobbed. 'I can't leave him. He's all…he's all I have.' Tempe wrapped one arm around him, squeezing his shoulders.

'The paramedics need to take him away,' she whispered. 'It's time to let go Seeley.' Booth shook his head, sobbing loudly.

'I…' he began, looking up to meet her eyes, but not letting go of Parker.

'It's not goodbye forever,' she said quietly. 'No matter what happens he'll always be in _here_,' she rested her hand over his heart. Booth felt a pang of hope as Bones tried to see into his beliefs of life beyond death. Booth nodded slowly and gently let go of Parker, resting him on the ground. He took off his jacket and rested it over his son's limp body.

'Goodbye, Pal,' he whispered, kissing the boy's forehead. 'I love you.' Tempe helped Booth to his feet and they walked a few steps before he slumped against her, wrapping his arms around her and sobbing loudly. They both fell back to the ground as Tempe was not able to hold him up. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close. She heard him short of breath as he continued to sob quietly and pulled back slightly. She looked into his eyes, but he didn't seem to be able to meet hers.

'I am so sorry, Booth,' she whispered. 'I am so, so sorry.' Booth couldn't even bring himself to reply as Tempe brought her hands up to hold his head, stroking his cheeks with her thumbs.

**Sad? it surely is emotional writing stuff like that. This will be a multi-fic, about as long as my other fics as I'm not used to drawing them out yet. Review if you want, thanks for reading!**


	2. Sorrow

**Thanks for the feedback about the first chap! Glad people are liking it! It really is pretty dark this story, but if you like it let me know. **

Tempe watched Booth sitting in the middle of her living room on the wooden floor. He held his head in his hands, his son's blood still drenching his plain white suit shirt and black pants. His tie had been thrown off somewhere along the way, his shirt hanging loosely open. His hair stood on end, ruffled up and untidy.

Tempe was brought out of her dream-like state as there was a knock at the door. She turned around and opened the door, sighing in relief when she saw Angela and Hodgins.

'Sweetie,' Angela sighed. 'We heard what happened.' She looked around Tempe to see Booth sitting on the floor, his back heaving with great sobs.

'I don't…' Tempe began, but hung her head, not knowing what to say. 'Come in.' she ushered them inside and they walked into the kitchen, looking sadly at Booth. Once in the kitchen Angela spoke.

'This is terrible,' she said sadly.

'I don't know how to deal with this Ange,' Tempe said, allowing a tear to fall. Angela wrapped her arms around Tempe, holding her close.

'Hodgie, can you go and watch Booth for a minute?' Angela asked and Hodgins nodded, walking back to the living room.

'Bren, sweetie,' Angela said, holding her at arms length. 'You just need to be there for him right now.'

'He just looks so lost,' Tempe said quietly. 'He's got…his blood is still all over him.'

'How about you go and run him a bath,' Angela said. 'Jack and I'll stay in the living room if you need anything. You don't need to do this alone.' Tempe nodded and led Angela back into the living room. While Angela sat next to Hodgins on the couch, Tempe bent down in front of Booth. She rested her hand on his arm and he looked up her, his eyes red raw.

'Booth…' she whispered. 'We need to get you cleaned up.' He nodded silently as she helped him to his feet. She held his hand lightly as she led him to the bathroom. She closed the door behind them and turned away from him to run the water. She slowly turned back to him to find that he was looking down at his feet, tears still falling down his cheeks. She stepped closer to him.

'Booth, do you need me to help you get undressed?' she asked and he slowly looked up at her, a sob escaping his lips. 'Shhh, it's alright.'

She lifted her shaking hands up to the front of his shirt and began to slowly unbutton the shirt. His head remained heavy, hung forward as he barely acknowledged her. When she had completely unbuttoned his shirt she slipped it off his shoulders, allowing the pile of red and white to fall to his feet. She quickly unzipped his pants, not wanting either of them to admit to the ironic intimacy of the situation.

Once he was completely undressed she led him to the bath and he carefully stepped into the water, sitting down uncomfortably. She took a stool from the corner of the room and moved it so she could sit close to the edge. She took the soap and handed it to him. He began to absentmindedly run the soap over his body, his eyes still not focussing on anything in front of him. Once he was done he put the soap on the edge of the tub, allowing his shoulders to slump as he stared at the water.

Tempe reached out, cupping the back of Booth's head and, as she hoped, he leant back into her touch. She used her other hand to scoop handfuls of water over his head, pushing it back into his hair. She made sure not to get it into his eyes as she avoided looking at the pink tinge in which the water had turned. Once his hair was completely wet she poured some shampoo onto his scalp, massaging it in before washing it carefully out. She then took a face-washer and squeezed it, making sure it was not too damp before gently wiping the clots of dirt and blood on his face away.

Once she saw that he was completely clean she offered him her hand to help him up and handed him a towel which he absently wrapped around his waist. She led him, gently holding his hand, out of the bathroom and down the corridor to her room. Once in her room she gave him a pair of his tracksuit pants and an old FBI shirt that he had leant to her in a time before his life had fallen apart within seconds.

He got dressed quietly and sat on the side of the bed. Tempe moved to pull back the covers, which he slipped underneath.

'Do you want me to stay?' she asked. He shook his head, nodding quickly afterwards. He brought his right hand up to rub his eyes with his thumb and forefinger, but unable to hide the sobs which once again racked his body. Tempe wrapped her arms around him, allowing him to rest his head on her stomach as they both lay on the bed, him sobbing sadly. She rubbed his back with one hand while running her other through his damp hair.

'My little boy…' he sobbed. Tempe slid down the bed so that they lay face to face. She cupped his cheek in one hand and his head fell to her shoulder, his tears soaking through her shirt. She wrapped her arms around his back, feeling his muscles tense with each sob.

'My little boy…' he repeated.

'I know,' she whispered, unable to stop her own tears from falling. 'I know…'

**There you go! How'd you like it? Thanks for reading!**


	3. I Need To End This

**Thanks to all of the fantastic reviews!!! Heres the next chapter...**

Temperance woke to find that she was alone, cold air filling the space where she remembered him to be. She sat up, instantly worried when she saw him sitting at the end of the bed, his own gun aimed at his temple. Fear flew through her as she crawled down the bed.

'Booth…' she whispered, so as not to startle him. 'Don't do that… Please don't do that.' Booth sobbed loudly and she gently reached around his shoulders, hugging him from behind. He let his hand holding the gun fall to his side in defeat. She took the gun and stood, walking out of the room quietly. She found Hodgins and Angela curled up on the couch together, sleeping soundly. She gently nudged Angela awake, handing her the gun.

'Do me a favour?' she asked and Angela nodded sleepily. 'Take this to Cullen, tell him that Booth is on leave indefinitely…'

'Bren, what's wrong?' Angela asked, sitting up and rousing Hodgins awake. 'I mean, despite the obvious.'

'He tried to kill himself,' Tempe said quietly, looking down at her hands.

'Sweetie, I'll get Hodgie to stay here, I'll…go to see Cullen.' Tempe nodded, quickly going back to her bedroom to find Booth in the same spot she had left him. She knelt between his legs at lifted his head to meet his eyes with hers.

'You can't do that,' she whispered. 'You cannot give up.' She felt tears rolling down her cheeks, but ignored them. They had both shown so many emotions in the last twenty-four hours that hiding them didn't seem logical.

'Booth can you hear me?' she asked, trying to get him to look at her. 'I need you to stay strong. You _can't _give up.'

'What will I do without him?' he whispered. She encased his face with her hands and took a deep breath.

'You will grieve,' she said softly. 'You will morn the death of your son, but you will recover. I know that seems impossible now, but you are not alone. I'm going to help you through this.'

'I just feel so empty,' Booth said. 'Like something's missing.' Tempe didn't know what to say to this, so she stood up, sat down next to him and let him rest his head on her shoulder.

'How did you sleep last night?' she asked. He sat up straight.

'I didn't,' he replied.

'You didn't sleep at all?' she asked, looking at the dark circles around his eyes. He shook his head. 'You should try to get some sleep. I'm going to go to your apartment and get some stuff for you. Hodgins is here, if you need anything.'

'Stay for a while,' he whispered as he crawled under the blankets.

'You need a change of clothes,' Tempe replied.

'Please…' he said quietly. 'Please just stay with me for a while.' She nodded and crawled up to get under the covers. She turned away from him and felt his arm drape across her stomach and his body tuck snugly behind hers. She closed her eyes, enjoying his smell and the feel of him so close to her. She felt his lips lightly brush the back of her neck. Without thinking she turned in his embrace, reaching up to cup his cheek in her hand.

'What are you doing?' she asked softly.

'I need to forget,' he replied. 'Help me forget.' He leant forward to meet her lips with his. The kiss started hesitantly but soon he felt her responding, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck and run her hands through his hair. She felt warm tears reach their lips and pulled away gently.

'Booth?' she asked, stroking his cheek with her thumb.

'Please,' he sobbed, leaning forward again to kiss her, but she pulled away quickly.

'Not now Booth,' she replied.

'I need to forget,' he repeated, his heartbreak evident in his voice.

'I can't do this with you Booth,' she whispered. 'I can't let the first time we have sex be while you're still mourning the death of your son.' Booth huffed before turning away from her.

'Booth…' she sighed, getting up. 'I'm going to go and get your stuff from your apartment. As I said before, Hodgins is here if you need him.' She stood, walking out of the room and closing the door behind her.

In the living room she saw Angela and Hodgins sitting on the couch.

'You're back,' she said and Ange nodded.

'How is he?' Ange asked.

'He's…alright…better I 'spose,' Tempe replied. 'Hey, I'm going to go over to Booth's place and get some stuff for him. You know, clothes and…'

'Sweetie, are you alright?' Ange asked, walking up to Tempe.

'I don't know how to deal with him,' she whispered.

'You're doing a great job,' Ange comforted, squeezing Tempe's arm softly. Tempe nodded, closed her eyes for a second and turned, walking out of her front door.

An hour later Tempe was driving back from Booth's apartment with a duffel bag full off his belongings. She looked at her watch as she nearly arrived home, hoping that she hadn't been too long as her phone began to ring.

'Brennan,' she answered.

'Bren, its Ange,' she heard a panicked voice reply. 'It's Booth…we thought he was sleeping, but then Jack went to check up on him and he's…he's barely breathing, Bren. He took a whole lot of sleeping tablets and we called an ambulance, but…'

'I'm nearly there,' Tempe replied, throwing the phone down onto the passengers' seat and speeding into the car park of her apartment block. Without turning off the engine or taking the keys out of the ignition, she threw open the door of the car and raced up to her apartment. The door was open, clearly Ange had left it open for the paramedics when they get there.

Tempe ran into her apartment, seeing Ange standing there waiting for her.

'He's in your bedroom!' she said, tears running down her face. Tempe ran down the hallway and into her bedroom, pushing Hodgins aside as she bent down over Booth, who was lying unconscious, a pack of half-empty pill next to him. Quickly finding his pulse she leant down to wrap her arms around him.

'Booth,' she whispered. 'You can't do this. Please wake up. I can't do this without you.' She felt strong arms pull her away from him and watched silently as the paramedics began to work on him, quickly putting him on a stretcher and taking him out of the room.

'I'm family!' she yelled as she ran after them, finding her voice again.

'How are you related, mam?' one of the men asked as they loaded Booth into the back of the ambulance.

'I'm his partner with the FBI, but I'm the only family he's got,' she pleaded and they hurried her into the back.

**There you go. How'd you like it? Bit of a cliff-hanger, but not too bad. Hope you liked it, thanks for reading, review, etc. **


	4. Together

**Here's the next chap - not sure about it, but let me know what you think. Hope you like it, Booth's having trouble getting through this loss, lol, as the character, so its pretty difficult to write. **

Two hours later Tempe found herself sitting in Booth's hospital room, holding onto his hand at his bedside. She rested her head on his shoulder, silently willing him to wake.

'Bones?'

Tempe sat up quickly, looking down at Booth. She felt a tear fall from her eye and onto his bare shoulder.

'I was trying to help,' Tempe said sadly. 'I thought I could help.'

'It's not your fault, Bones,' Booth whispered, his eyes hollow.

Tempe stood up to leave, but felt Booth grab her hand to stop her.

'I…' she found herself unable to look him in the eye; she looked everywhere but. 'I'm going to get you professional help. I thought I could help you alone but I…' she bit back a sob. 'I obviously can't.'

'This _isn't_ your fault,' Booth insisted, trying to gain eye-contact. 'Temperance, please look at me. I need you to help me through this.' Tempe slowly lifted her gaze to meet his, her tear filled eyes boring into his empty brown ones.

'Why?' she said quietly, sitting back down and still holding his hand.

'I just feel so hollow,' Booth began. 'It hurts…so much…'

'Logically…' Tempe began, but stopped quickly. 'Grief is a natural process which will take time to overcome. A psychologist will help you in that process.'

'I do need help,' he said. 'But can I still stay at your place?'

'You tried to kill yourself,' Tempe stated bluntly. 'If it wasn't for Angela and Hodgins calling the ambulance when they did…'

'I won't do it again.'

'How can I trust you?'

'You don't trust me?

'Of course I trust you, Booth, but I can't risk your life,' Tempe insisted and felt Booth squeeze her hand firmly.

'I promise you,' he said, his eyes glued to hers.

'Because if you had died today…' Tempe used her free hand to wipe her eyes. 'I would have never been able to forgive myself. And how do I know that you won't do it again?'

'You can stay with me 24/7,' he suggested. 'I need someone to be there because honestly I'm not in a good place right now.'

'I'll stay with you,' she said quietly. 'I'll be there.'

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Booth and Tempe sat in the waiting room of a therapist's office. She reached over and rested a hand on his forearm.

'It's going to be alright, were going to get you through this,' she said quietly. He nodded, a single tear running down his cheek.

'Agent Booth?' a voice called and they both looked up. A middle-aged woman was standing in the doorway holding a clipboard. Tempe stood up, taking Booth's hand gently in hers and allowing him to follow her to the door.

'We'll get through this,' she whispered to him.

'I don't know if I can do this, Bones,' he said quietly.

'You're not alone Booth, I'm here to help you.'

He looked into her eyes and saw the genuineness and honesty in them. He gripped her hand tightly in his and took as deep breath as they walked through the doors, together.

**Thanks for reading! Review if you desire to do so! Let me know how you think this is going so far. **


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